How to go on
by The-One-Who-Has-No-Name
Summary: Kurt hasn't called or wrote in weeks, what happens when he finds out what happen to Kurt. Soldier!Kurt mentions of Mpreg! Rating because of a few cuss words. Please review.


"DADDY"

I turn my head so fast at the screech that my black curls smacked me in the face. I sigh in relief when I saw it was just Amber being attacked by our puppy Mr. Tickles (Lizzy named him),with Her Bright blue-green eyes shining in glee she is a spiting image of her Papa Kurt, I mange to keep a worry grimace away from my face Kurt hasn't called or wrote in two weeks.

Once again I find myself curseing at the war in Iran, an America's need for soldiers, drafting anyone that fit the Standers- which was Kurt still fit from his cheerleading and football as a teenager-. I beged him not to but they wouldn't take me having bared children I was the 'Mother' so because of child care center 'reporting' that children have problems(like not trusting the government) when they grow older from military issued Mother Abandonment. Like they are not if the 'dad' is gone and has been gone for a year.

I roll my eyes and bend over to pick up a toy but straitening when I hear the door bell ring.

"I GGGGGOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT DADDY!" Amber screams an I smile I love our kids

When I finely get to the door my heart stops, it was wide open Am is frozen in front of it she knew-we all knew what it meant when a general comes to your door holding a flag and a uniform.

"" I don't know who screamed me or Amber, all I knew was that I ended up on the floor pulling at my curls and my hazel eyes pouring tears, this can't be happening he promised he told me that he'll make it back-HE PROMISED!

"Daddy?…" I somehow hear the whimpers and I lift my head up to face my our twin daughters Amber and Lizzy he was so happy when he found out I was with child and almost passed out when he found out we were having twins. I hug them close Lizzy's black curls tickling my chin.

"Papa is not coming back.." Lizzy whispers softly her Hazel eyes getting wet

I shake my head.

"Well ….. He was a brave man and he died saving children from a sex rink"

"Who cares…WHO THE FUCK CARES IF I CAN'T HAVE HIM- IF HE IS GONE THEN WHY THE HELL SHOULD I CARE IF HE DIED SAVEING THE DAMN WORLD I WRATHER THEM DIED THEN HIM" I yell glaring at them

"Well…ummm he wrote a letter under law we are not allowed to read it…"

"get out" I softly I hug our babies tighter, they lay the stuff on the table and hand me the letter shifting our crying children I open it with shacking hands.

Dear, Blaine, Amber , Lizzy

Whatever they told you is a lie my group is about to be sent on a mission that I'm pretty sure that most of us won't come back from, I don't want to go I don't but they said they will find away around the law or just take you away killing our children in the progress- and I'm sorry baby I couldn't call this last week but I couldn't bare to let you know. Just rember that you have and always will be my night in shining blazer I know I wouldn't survive this long with out you please don't cry baby because I miss you, I love you, I will be watching.

Amber honey I love you and you keep that stubborn little head up and don't let anyone bring you down take care of Lizzy you guys might be the same age but she is still more easily hurt. I wish I knew you guys better and longer I left on your fourth birthday I'm sorry and I love you please don't hate me.

I cry harder clutching our kids harder sadness over comeing me. How was I to live? Without my soul mate my other half,? The only one that can make me smile when Father yelled more slurs? How….how….HOW!

"Daddy" Lizzy cries shaking

"We want Papa" Amber finishes

I give a sorry excuse for a smile, feeling the smallest spark on light in my heart.

"I do to"

I'll live for them I won't let them think bad thoughts about Kurt they will know everything about glee club about how he also saved my life even though he thought I was doing the saveing, they won't grow up hateing him only wishing they could see how amazing their Papa was.

I feel a hand on my back and a sad regretful voice in my ear

"Goodbye.."


End file.
